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Previous days

Uterus Quest Part 1: Big Trouble In Little China

by FuckMan
10/10 204 pts / 21 Votes - 11 comments
Hmm. Where am I going to obtain myself a uterus? Hmm.
We return to WHO:-

I know!

I'll call the country of China up! I'm pretty certain they have all sorts of spare body parts from executed criminals and political dissedents they MUST want to get rid of for lots of cash! Surely they'll have a spare uterus lying around?

What was the number again? Hmm. The phone book. Walking my fingers. Flip flip flip. Change.. Children.. Chimes. Chins..

Aha! Here's the number for China! Good ol' yellow pages.
Dit deet dit dit!
ringgg! ringgg!
Hello comrade! The People's Revolutionary Restaurant Of Toil & Money, formerly Dragon King's Opium Shack. How may I helps you?
Uhh, to whom am I addressing?

This is Mousey Tongue, head chef of restaurant. What you want order?
Oh! You must be new. I used to know your predecessor. I'm uhh, I'm 'sum dum gai'. Does that ring a bell my new, oriental friend?

OOOH! SUM DUM GAI! Woo Flung Dung told me many story about you. So you want legular order? Fleshly milked bear bile good for making ku ku bird glow bigger! I know you like velly muchee!
Oh not today. I'm looking for something different?

So what you want? I donch have all day wan.
I'm uhh. I'm looking for a body part in particular.

Many lecipe I cook have plenty body organs donch you worry, sum dum gai! Eyeballs also can, testicles also can, liver also can, kidney also can, triad rat finger spring rolls also can, human dim sum ALSO can! I make special cat dog and dead baby stir fly supplies for you very quick! O.K?

No no no! You misunderstand me! I'm looking for a specific body organ. I NEED a uterus. And a fresh one at that.

HAH? Now you misunderstanding me one you foreign white ghost barbarian! This is Glorious Proletariat Restaurant, NOT some borgeousie whorehouse, which you are insulting us with your imprickation!

However, if you really want some Chinese pooty-tang mama-san, what you want is secret brothel called Mr. Chew's Asian Beaver, which is owned by my brother at the next door to this estabrishment. For you, honourable august sum dum gai, I give you the number then you can fuckee suckee ten dorra all you want, but you must pay me the fee for the restoring loss of face!


Look. I just want a uterus. Not the fe-males that carry them. I require a fresh uterus not for consumption or soliciting but for my own private purposes. I just need one, okay? I'm prepared to pay handsomely for what I want.


You want utelus but you donch want to eat it and you donch want to fuck it? You really are a clazy man, and you are wasting Mousey Tongue's time. Try somewhere else!

WAIT! WAIT! Before you hang up, uhh.. What was the number for that brothel again?

Vellee sollee me no speaking the engrish.
-click!-


Man, talking to hot slitty-eyed guys on the phone makes me want to slit my thighs glaadly!
SLASH! SLASH!
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comments
NoteNote :   
Funny
11. 20.07.08 at 13:04 |Bliki10/10
Bliki
cool
10. 27.04.06 at 16:37 |Crapman10/10
Crapman
Lolz
9. 26.04.06 at 20:59 |CheGuevara10/10
CheGuevara
Hilarious. Love the use of 'Mousey Tongue'. 10
8. 26.04.06 at 12:50 |thecaptainofo10/10
thecaptainofo
das is good
7. 26.04.06 at 07:15 |evil_duck919/10
evil_duck91
Brilliant!
6. 26.04.06 at 03:16 |boinky3310/10
boinky33
Cool......
5. 26.04.06 at 03:01 |FFXking10/10
FFXking
haha that was good!

4. 26.04.06 at 03:01 |fairygirl10/10
fairygirl
Hey now!
3. 26.04.06 at 02:59 |grouchobeer10/10
grouchobeer
Wow!
2. 26.04.06 at 02:26 |Entropic_Catalyst10/10
Entropic_Catalyst
hehe
1. 26.04.06 at 01:48 |I_Z_Z_Y10/10
I_Z_Z_Y
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