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Previous days

Uterus Quest Part 9: Portrait Of An Elk As A Young Elk

by FuckMan
8/10 100 pts / 12 Votes - 10 comments
20 years ago:-
I says to you many times over and over again dangnabbit, take that damn there hat off when you're on the inside you stupid bastard!

Nag nag nag! That's all you ever do! But when I tell you to do something like shave that them there beard of yours? You'd never fucking do it!

Last time I shaved my beard off, we had a son, remember? I'm sure you don't want that to ever fucking happen again!

Oh yeah! That damn useless kid! Where is that retarded little fucker anyway?

... A fool could see just how much I adore you
I get down on my knees I do anything for you
I don’t want anybody else
When I think about you I touch myself..

Ooh I don’t want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no
I want you I don’t want anybody else
And when I think about you I touch myself

OOH OOH, OO OO AAAAHHH
-crazy naked dancing!-
COME HERE YOU LIL CUNT!
I... I'm coming mother! I'm coming father! I'm just dressing myself!

You're 30 minutes late and now your fucking lousy dinner that your bearded slut of your mother is now fucking cold you ungrateful child!
You spent an awfully long time locked up by yourself in the toilet young man, what do you have to say for yourself?

I.. I was just exploring my angry inch in private, mother and father. Pl.. Pl.. Please don't get mad.

YOU WHATTTTT???!??!? !
Since when did you become a denizen of the filthyverse my poor misguided vulgar child?

I was just playing with myself! I mean, mother.. It's an inch long at my height, so if I extrapolate my age, by 20 years time it should be 20 times the length surely?

SMALL THINGS AMUSE SMALL MINDS YOU STUPID LITTLE FUCKING CUNT!

Am I right, you hirsute hoebag slut momma?
Your idiot drunkard father is right you little shit! Say you're sorry! Say you'll never do it again! Say it you useless sumfabitch of my loins!

I... I..

I hate you father! I hate you mother! I HATE YOU ALL! HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU! I'M GOING TO MY ROOM!

-SLAM!-
That them there's one damn useless retard kid of ours. I do worry about him. What he needs is some good ol' fashioned oiled leather discipline!
Have I ever told you how much you turn me on when you act tough and talk about shiny, shiny leather in front of our kid, you hot and sexy fucking alcoholic shit?

*sniff*sniff* I hate mother and father! I simply HATE them both to pieces.

But.. but I LOVE them so much too. More than they realise. They make me feel so happy. And hard.

Oh I get so confused.. And when I'm confused, I have to sing my happy song.

All by myself... Don't wanna be... All by myself... Anymore.

?

Good evening WHO.

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comments
NoteNote :   
great
10. 20.05.06 at 12:35 |harlee10/10
harlee
that was horrible
9. 10.05.06 at 22:00 |insertnamehere10/10
insertnamehere
Holy shit! I forgot to vote!
8. 10.05.06 at 20:46 |grouchobeer10/10
grouchobeer
6. Yup, and then they get the second "mysterious disgruntled vote" after doctorn00b gets home from work. And of course he has to break his own rule about not voting anonymously because even his warped "logic" can`t justify giving a work of art like this anything less than 10 points.
7. 10.05.06 at 17:35 |Entropic_Catalyst10/10
Entropic_Catalyst
I've noticed your comic always tends to get that 'mysterious disgruntled zero' vote. S'pity, as this is genuinely funny!
6. 10.05.06 at 14:31 |thecaptainofo10/10
thecaptainofo
Wonderful.
5. 10.05.06 at 08:09 |boinky3310/10
boinky33
Mwhahaha......
4. 10.05.06 at 01:28 |FFXking10/10
FFXking
I see.
3. 06.05.06 at 16:23 |Entropic_Catalyst10/10
Entropic_Catalyst
wow...im at a loss for words, truely a great series, possibly the best
2. 06.05.06 at 04:49 |Cartman69
Cartman69
omg
1. 06.05.06 at 03:47 |I_Z_Z_Y10/10
I_Z_Z_Y
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