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Comic of the day

Caramel Portions: In The Beginning

by Entropic_Catalyst
8/10 639 pts / 81 Votes - 45 comments
Ah, school! I remember this place from so long ago.
I don't think you're allowed to be in here, sir.

Back when I went to this school, me and the other guys used to play this little game with cookies.
You're definitely much too old to be a student. I don't think your supposed to be here.

We'd all stand around in a circle and jerk off on the cookies. The guy who came last had to eat all the cookies with the other guy's semen on them.
Eeeeew! Gross! You're a pervert!

I always played to lose, of course.
I need to contact security!

Which brings me to why I'm here. I know we just met, but I really like you and I was wondering if you'd be willing... Cr*p, where'd he go?

*sigh* Another one got away.
Excuse me, sir. What are you doing here? Are you a teacher?

Yes, officer, I am a teacher. I am the world's self-appointed teacher. I have taken it upon myself to preach my law... uh, I mean... God's law to everyone.
That's it, buddy, I'm taking you in.

Taking me in? You mean we're going to have gay anal sex? I have a law against that... but I guess it's okay if I'm the one doing it.
Oh, you are going to get such a beating for this!

I'm ready, officer!
Dear God, why couldn't I have just taken a bullet in the line of duty like my lucky partner Bill?

Cr*p, now I'm in jail. That's okay, though. Good things come to those who wait!*
*Heinz Ketchup slogan
I wonder why real life never seems to turn out the way I imagine it will? In my dreams...

Take a look in the mirror and cry:
Lord what you're doing to me
I have to spent all my years in believing you but I just can't get no relief, Lord
I sing duets with Freddie.
Can anybody find meeeee...
... somebody to love?
The whole world loves me.
Some body, somebody...
Snap out of it, douchebag! Michael Jackson just spent his last few dollars paying your bail. Says he sympathizes with your 'Peter Pan syndrome.' You're free to go.

Ah, freedom. I knew God would do my bidding. Now, who can I preach to in this park?

Oh, it's a Care Bear! Hello, little bear. Will you be my only friend?
Fuck off, you fucking cunt! I hate obnoxious assholes like you.

Oh well, you know what they say: Empty vessels make the most noise.
Lick my ass, shithead.

Behold! I see an evil perverted sinner! I'd better attack him to prove that I'm just like him... I mean, nothing like him.
I am beautiful, no matter what they say. Their words can't bring me down.

Hey, you! Stop swearing in your songs! Music should be all ages.
Who asked you? I'll do whatever the heck I want. Mind your own darn business.

Don't make me sic Jesus on your ass, motherfucker! Jesus'll fuck you up if you don't obey me!
Isn't it rather hypocritical of you to be breaking all of your own rules?

Jesus, I order you to destroy this rich popular man!
You know, while I don't claim to be a Christian myself, I don't think Jesus would appreciate the way you're acting.

Will you teach me how to suck my own cock by having my ribs removed?
Fucking weirdo!

Maybe I can help you, Doctor.
Who are you?

I'm Mel Gibson. Actor, director, sex symbol, religious fanatic, and hate-mongering bigot.
Wow, you're one of my heroes!

Really? You like my movies?
Movies?

Anyway, I'm here to let you in on the secret of my biggest success so that you can plagiarize it.
Success? Me? Could such a dream really come true?

Just make a pointless, quasi-moralistic , homo-erotic snuff film intended to stir up fear and hatred.
Just like you! That's brilliant!
But... I'm not rich or well-liked like you.

No problem. Just do it as a comic on Gnomz. It's free.
You're right! And while I'm there, I'll spend months trolling on the forums.

That's the spirit! Give them Hell, Doctor. (In the name on Heaven, of course.)
Thank you, Mel Gibson!

There sure are a lot of cr*p comics around here! Stop voting for yourself!
And so it began...
Next time on Caramel Portions, The Good Doctor falls in love.

What are you looking at, you weirdo?
To be continued..?
comments
NoteNote :   
k watever 10/10
45. 25.10.06 at 03:04 |mwmt10/10
mwmt
Hey, I played that game with my uncle jeffrey once.



I always won.



xD
44. 29.06.06 at 20:29 |pulse10/10
pulse
dantheman didn't recieve a proper education.
43. 04.04.06 at 02:48 |boinky3310/10
boinky33
u dont like this comic?
42. 30.12.05 at 00:45 |cocoa10/10
cocoa
I agree with the majority. This comic sucks.

74 votes, 593 points, Top 3
http://img219.i...
Thanks, everyone.
41. 16.12.05 at 04:01 |Entropic_Catalyst10/10
Entropic_Catalyst
funny stuff wtg

10 heterosexual cops

out of 10
40. 14.12.05 at 15:44 |zackraider10/10
zackraider
Dude it is cool i will give it 10 kittens a kill'n out of 10



P.S. My cat likes it to
39. 13.12.05 at 22:32 |HALO4510/10
HALO45
69 votes, 555 points, Top 3 list

http://img209.i...
38. 11.12.05 at 00:18 |Entropic_Catalyst10/10
Entropic_Catalyst
Semen cookies... great, I was JUST about to get up to eat lunch.



Heheh, great!



10/10
37. 10.12.05 at 17:59 |Halo_2_Rox10/10
Halo_2_Rox
67 votes, 540 points, Top 3 list

http://img32.im...

http://www.show...

36. 10.12.05 at 00:55 |Entropic_Catalyst10/10
Entropic_Catalyst
64 votes, 513 points, Top 3 list

The votes stolen from this comic have already had to be restored at least twice by trelkax, who I`m sure won`t be pleased if this has to be brought to his attention again.

http://img451.i...

http://www.what...
35. 08.12.05 at 07:30 |Entropic_Catalyst10/10
Entropic_Catalyst
this is soooo funny!!!! i had lots of fun reading it!

make more plz
34. 04.12.05 at 22:31 |cocoa10/10
cocoa
coolio
33. 04.12.05 at 22:03 |Fartyman
Fartyman
brilliant dude

brilliant dude

brilliant dude

brilliant dude

brilliant dude

brilliant dude
32. 03.12.05 at 10:04 |yankees4710/10
yankees47
its gross
31. 03.12.05 at 08:50 |Teganrox
Teganrox
yeah, i have to say, ur beatin doctorwhos ass!! power to the... people!

30. 02.12.05 at 22:54 |hurleychick777410/10
hurleychick7774
brilliant
29. 02.12.05 at 08:05 |jakjakbinks10/10
jakjakbinks
aahhh..its ok
28. 19.10.05 at 23:46 |Ariesia7/10
Ariesia
Nevermind, I took some time to read a few... you may continue your cruel mockery of the boy.
27. 11.10.05 at 07:49 |big_gar
big_gar
Who is Doctorwho? Does he do comics on here, I never read one of them?
26. 11.10.05 at 07:37 |big_gar
big_gar
its was good
25. 10.10.05 at 03:53 |polymorhp5/10
polymorhp
wow awesome 10/10
24. 09.10.05 at 20:27 |bennett12310/10
bennett123
brilliant
23. 09.10.05 at 17:28 |philio
philio
this is really good.



wow, this doctor who character seems like a real ass. lol.
22. 08.10.05 at 02:06 |oven_mitt
oven_mitt
hahahahahahahaa.



Before I was leaning more to doctorwhos side of this feud thing but now that ive seen both sides im right back in the middle.



It was a really funny comic!



10/10
21. 07.10.05 at 20:14 |kabie10/10
kabie
Genious: perverted, educational, an actor, a singer, a care bear, it is pure genious 11/10
20. 15.09.05 at 05:31 |fry13310/10
fry133
this is really good! and true!
19. 14.09.05 at 08:24 |gnom
gnom
"Cr*p" is a Gnomz inside joke from a few months ago. Doctorwho used to always use that word and censor it like that when he was telling us we couldn`t swear, but the word "fuck" would still appear uncensored several times in his comics.

Many thanks to all who have voted. Your vote is your voice, and you have all been heard. Amen.
18. 13.09.05 at 00:17 |Entropic_Catalyst10/10
Entropic_Catalyst
how come u can't bother to say crap but u can put so much other harmful words in ur comics? anyway it was quite good i applaud u.
17. 12.09.05 at 23:29 |Penguins10/10
Penguins
ummm
16. 12.09.05 at 19:39 |Crunchtacular
Crunchtacular
wicked man keep it up... me fav comic....10110
15. 12.09.05 at 11:05 |Cool_Dude10/10
Cool_Dude
great! 10
14. 11.09.05 at 10:46 |rosibella10/10
rosibella
lol i loved it hehe 10/10
13. 10.09.05 at 05:23 |Belsback10/10
Belsback
he he he whered my top go???
12. 10.09.05 at 02:21 |lil_miss_naughty10/10
lil_miss_naughty
what are you talking about Skullman101 its the best comic ever! 10/10
11. 10.09.05 at 00:37 |superspybob10/10
superspybob
not very good but ill give it 8/10
10. 07.09.05 at 18:29 |skullman1018/10
skullman101
One of my favorite comics.
9. 31.08.05 at 21:43 |boinky3310/10
boinky33
pretty good comic
8. 25.08.05 at 09:40 |payne6/10
payne
An Entropic magnum opus! How utterly delightful! 5 cookies out of 5!
7. 18.08.05 at 10:27 |thecaptainofo10/10
thecaptainofo
I ...like it very much.
6. 17.08.05 at 21:07 |Praada10/10
Praada
Great! Excellent comic!
5. 16.08.05 at 14:50 |FFXking10/10
FFXking
although i wouldnt worry about offending pedofiles, they are the scum of this earth
4. 16.08.05 at 13:15 |hornydevil10/10
hornydevil
she a keeper
3. 16.08.05 at 13:05 |hornydevil10/10
hornydevil
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblence to real people or situations is entirely coincidental. No offense intended toward gays, cops, pseudo-Christians who won't shut the fuck up, pedophiles, the judicial system, Michael Jackson, Mel Gibson or any other Holocaust revisionists, Care Bears, Marilyn Manson, internet trolls, plagiarists, losers, morons, or naked black men.
I hope you all have as much fun reading it as I had writing it, and I wish you all a safe return to Earth.
Also, apologies to grouchobeer, as Caramel Portions and Vanilla Slices are obviously ripoffs of his popular, long-running Chocolate Chunks series.
2. 16.08.05 at 12:56 |Entropic_Catalyst10/10
Entropic_Catalyst
F**king hilarious. I p**d myself laughing.
1. 16.08.05 at 12:55 |grouchobeer10/10
grouchobeer
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