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Comic of the day

"Roe v. Wade For Men" starring Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law

by Entropic_Catalyst
9/10 150 pts / 17 Votes - 17 comments
Good to see you again, Black Vulcan. What can I do for you today, my homie?
It`s my ex, Harvey. She keeps hounding me for child support. I can`t afford $1000 a month. I invested all my Superfriends money in Enron stock.
The law offices of Sebben & Sebben
I hear that, G, but unfortunately that`s the price of not keeping it...
In my pants?

Exactly.
It`s not like that, Harvey. When I was with Condi, she swore that she couldn`t have kids because of radiation exposure from one of Saddam Hussein`s WMD`s. She lied to me because she knew I didn`t want to be a father.

So you feel that you aren`t responsible for the child because you weren`t in on the decision to reproduce?
Hells yeah! The courts have given women the legal right to avoid procreation by getting an abortion. So I`m not entitled to those same rights because I`m a man? I call that discrimination.

I don`t know, Black Vulcan. This sounds a bit shaky to me, not to mention... immoral.
This is going to be Roe v. Wade for men. If we win, you`ll be a household name, just like... whoever that lawyer was who won Roe v. Wade.

I`ll take the case!

Here ye, here ye, court is now in session. All rise for the honorable judge Mentok.
You may all be seated, but only because I, the all-mighty all-powerful MENTOK command it!

Prosecution may proceed.
Thank you, your honor.

Mr. Vulcan, do you think that just because you are a B list celebrity, a so-called "super hero," you don`t have to take care of your tiny little child? That you can just spawn at will with no regard for the welfare of a teensy weensy miniature version of you running around in baby-sized pants?

Psst! Hey, cop guy, get a load of that crappy Black Vulcan avatar! Talk about lousy Photoshopping skills, huh?
Uh... what?

Yes, that`s right, I can break the fourth wall of this comic, because I am MENTOK, the MIND TAKER!!

My client`s civil rights are clearly being violated here. The 14th Amendment of our Constitution guarantees all citizens equal protection under the law. Therefore, the same rights granted to every woman as a result of Roe v. Wade must also apply to my client, regardless of the fact that he has a penis.
In my pants.

Objection! In Geduldig v. Aiello, the Supreme Court held that classification based on pregnancy is not a classification based on a person`s grubby little genitals. Since "pregnant persons" are not similarly situated to "non-pregnant persons," there is no legal obligation to treat them the same way.
Oh, come on, Reducto! You know that only women can get pregnant! You`re arguing semantics!

Do you want me to zap your testicles with my shrink gun, Birdman?
I`ll feed your eyeballs to my eagle, Reducto!

All right, enough of this. We`re up to 15 panels already. It is the ruling of this court that the defendant no longer has to pay child support on the grounds that he is now about to become a "pregnant person" himself.
I`m what?

Woooo oooooh oooooh WOOOO OOOOOH!
I... I can feel something... kicking. It`s a miracle!

Well, Myron, looks like you lost this time.
Yes, but it was a pyhrric victory for you, Birdman. That means it was small. A tiny little victory.

You know, I`m wondering about something. Black Vulcan`s pregnant now, but doesn`t it take two to... you know...
Well, it was the judge who made him pregnant...

Huh! So does that mean...

Summons for you, sir.
What? I`m being sued by Black Vulcan for... child support payments???

I need a lawyer!
I`ll take the case!

comments
NoteNote :   
that was hilarious man...one of my favs that you have ever made 10/10!
17. 19.05.06 at 03:55 |thegreek10/10
thegreek
Lol
16. 25.03.06 at 21:01 |CheGuevara10/10
CheGuevara
13. No, my comics aren`t for illiterate retards.
15. 24.03.06 at 22:15 |Entropic_Catalyst10/10
Entropic_Catalyst
hi its santa again its actually santa meets jesus and stop laughin at me i no ur not but u no
14. 24.03.06 at 20:33 |santa10/10
santa1
its god dam crap man read mine santa meets sadam make the boxs shorter split up the text make it easier to read

from..santa
13. 24.03.06 at 20:31 |santa10/10
santa1
That was the best comic I've ever read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !
12. 24.03.06 at 19:32 |CSWDavis10/10
CSWDavis
not bad
11. 24.03.06 at 16:41 |Gazaindaclub0/10
Gazaindaclub
8. All your avatars in it were awesome.

Liar! (Thanks!)

9. There is no god, there is only MENTOK the MIND TAKER!
10. 24.03.06 at 15:45 |Entropic_Catalyst10/10
Entropic_Catalyst
there is a god...
9. 24.03.06 at 01:51 |Cartman6910/10
Cartman69
Sweet. Loved it. All your avatars in it were awesome.
8. 23.03.06 at 21:40 |FFXking10/10
FFXking
lolololololo0l9oo9oi oiololololbf agyuefc awnukc 6da98f
7. 23.03.06 at 21:05 |awsomeinvader10/10
awsomeinvader
4. That`s okay, I`m currently living in a country that doesn`t even have a Cartoon Network, but if you`ve got Winamp and a good internet connection, (DSL or better,) you can watch it for free on Shoutcast TV.

5. And I LOVE those avatars.

Liar! Thanks, though.
6. 23.03.06 at 20:15 |Entropic_Catalyst10/10
Entropic_Catalyst
Bizarre and wonderful. And I LOVE those avatars.
5. 23.03.06 at 20:08 |thecaptainofo10/10
thecaptainofo
10/10 i don't get adult swim on the Cartoon Network i watch...
4. 23.03.06 at 18:39 |JakeAkbar10/10
JakeAkbar
Good heavens!
3. 23.03.06 at 15:57 |grouchobeer10/10
grouchobeer
a mash up of pop culture and case law that goes far beyond the bounds of my fragile universe.. i'll give it 10 to make it seem like i am in on the joke and down with the kids.
2. 23.03.06 at 15:45 |onemonkey10/10
onemonkey
This is based on a real case in the news right now: http://writ.news....



Harvey Birdman, Myron Reducto, Mentok the Mind Taker, and Black Vulcan can be seen on Cartoon Network`s Adult Swim in Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law. http://www.adults...
1. 23.03.06 at 15:29 |Entropic_Catalyst10/10
Entropic_Catalyst
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