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"Roe v. Wade For Men" starring Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law

by Entropic_Catalyst

150 pts / 17 Votes - 17 comments


	Good to see you again, Black Vulcan. What can I do for you today, my homie?


	It`s my ex, Harvey. She keeps hounding me for child support. I can`t afford $1000 a month. I invested all my Superfriends money in Enron stock.

The law offices of Sebben & Sebben


	I hear that, G, but unfortunately that`s the price of not keeping it...


	In my pants?


	Exactly.


	It`s not like that, Harvey. When I was with Condi, she swore that she couldn`t have kids because of radiation exposure from one of Saddam Hussein`s WMD`s. She lied to me because she knew I didn`t want to be a father.


	So you feel that you aren`t responsible for the child because you weren`t in on the decision to reproduce?


	Hells yeah! The courts have given women the legal right to avoid procreation by getting an abortion. So I`m not entitled to those same rights because I`m a man? I call that discrimination.


	I don`t know, Black Vulcan. This sounds a bit shaky to me, not to mention... immoral.


	This is going to be Roe v. Wade for men. If we win, you`ll be a household name, just like... whoever that lawyer was who won Roe v. Wade.


	I`ll take the case!


	Here ye, here ye, court is now in session. All rise for the honorable judge Mentok.


	*You may all be seated, but only because I, the all-mighty all-powerful MENTOK command* it!**


	Prosecution may proceed.


	Thank you, your honor.


	Mr. Vulcan, do you think that just because you are a B list celebrity, a so-called "super hero," you don`t have to take care of your tiny little child? That you can just spawn at will with no regard for the welfare of a teensy weensy miniature version of you running around in baby-sized pants?


	Psst! Hey, cop guy, get a load of that crappy Black Vulcan avatar! Talk about lousy Photoshopping skills, huh?


	Uh... what?


	*Yes, that`s right, I can* break the fourth wall of this comic, because I am MENTOK, the MIND TAKER!!**


	My client`s civil rights are clearly being violated here. The 14th Amendment of our Constitution guarantees all citizens equal protection under the law. Therefore, the same rights granted to every woman as a result of Roe v. Wade must also apply to my client, regardless of the fact that he has a penis.


	In my pants.


	Objection! In Geduldig v. Aiello, the Supreme Court held that classification based on pregnancy is not a classification based on a person`s grubby little genitals. Since "pregnant persons" are not similarly situated to "non-pregnant persons," there is no legal obligation to treat them the same way.


	Oh, come on, Reducto! You know that only women can get pregnant! You`re arguing semantics!


	Do you want me to zap your testicles with my shrink gun, Birdman?


	I`ll feed your eyeballs to my eagle, Reducto!


	All right, enough of this. We`re up to 15 panels already. It is the ruling of this court that the defendant no longer has to pay child support on the grounds that he is now about to become a "pregnant person" himself.


	I`m what?


	Woooo oooooh oooooh WOOOO OOOOOH!


	I... I can feel something... kicking. It`s a miracle!


	Well, Myron, looks like you lost this time.


	Yes, but it was a pyhrric victory for you, Birdman. That means it was small. A tiny little victory.


	You know, I`m wondering about something. Black Vulcan`s pregnant now, but doesn`t it take two to... you know...


	Well, it was the judge who made him pregnant...


	Huh! So does that mean...


	Summons for you, sir.


	What? I`m being sued by Black Vulcan for... child support payments???


	I need a lawyer!


	I`ll take the case!

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comments


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	that was hilarious man...one of my favs that you have ever made 10/10!
	17. 19.05.06 at 03:55 \|thegreek


	Lol
	16. 25.03.06 at 21:01 \|CheGuevara


	13. No, my comics aren`t for illiterate retards.
	15. 24.03.06 at 22:15 \|Entropic_Catalyst


	hi its santa again its actually santa meets jesus and stop laughin at me i no ur not but u no
	14. 24.03.06 at 20:33 \|santa1


	its god dam crap man read mine santa meets sadam make the boxs shorter split up the text make it easier to read from..santa
	13. 24.03.06 at 20:31 \|santa1


	That was the best comic I've ever read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !
	12. 24.03.06 at 19:32 \|CSWDavis


	not bad
	11. 24.03.06 at 16:41 \|Gazaindaclub


	8. All your avatars in it were awesome. Liar! (Thanks!) 9. There is no god, there is only MENTOK the MIND TAKER!
	10. 24.03.06 at 15:45 \|Entropic_Catalyst


	there is a god...
	9. 24.03.06 at 01:51 \|Cartman69


	Sweet. Loved it. All your avatars in it were awesome.
	8. 23.03.06 at 21:40 \|FFXking


	lolololololo0l9oo9oi oiololololbf agyuefc awnukc 6da98f
	7. 23.03.06 at 21:05 \|awsomeinvader


	4. That`s okay, I`m currently living in a country that doesn`t even have a Cartoon Network, but if you`ve got Winamp and a good internet connection, (DSL or better,) you can watch it for free on Shoutcast TV. 5. And I LOVE those avatars. Liar! Thanks, though.
	6. 23.03.06 at 20:15 \|Entropic_Catalyst


	Bizarre and wonderful. And I LOVE those avatars.
	5. 23.03.06 at 20:08 \|thecaptainofo


	10/10 i don't get adult swim on the Cartoon Network i watch...
	4. 23.03.06 at 18:39 \|JakeAkbar


	Good heavens!
	3. 23.03.06 at 15:57 \|grouchobeer


	a mash up of pop culture and case law that goes far beyond the bounds of my fragile universe.. i'll give it 10 to make it seem like i am in on the joke and down with the kids.
	2. 23.03.06 at 15:45 \|onemonkey


	This is based on a real case in the news right now: http://writ.news.... Harvey Birdman, Myron Reducto, Mentok the Mind Taker, and Black Vulcan can be seen on Cartoon Network`s Adult Swim in Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law. http://www.adults...
	1. 23.03.06 at 15:29 \|Entropic_Catalyst

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