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Forums / Come as you are / Dead Babies |
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| Jesus just called and ordered me to start a thread where everyone can share their favorite dead baby jokes. Yeah, we`ve heard them all a million times, but they`re still funny. (According to Jesus.) Jesus also wanted me to say that he`ll gladly slit the throat of anyone who doesn`t laugh at these. Q. What's brown and gurgles? A. A baby in a casserole. Q. Why did the dead baby cross the road? A. It was chained to my bumper. Q: What's pink and red and silver and crawls into walls? A: baby with forks in it`s eyes. Q. How do you get 300 babies to fit in a car trunk? A. A blender. Q. How do you get them out? A. Tostitos! | ||
1. 14 Apr 2006 19:54 | Entropic_Catalyst   |
| Funny but cruel!!! | ||
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| Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Camaro? A: I don't have a Camaro in my garage. | ||
3. 14 Apr 2006 20:01 | heartagram_666  |
| Q:Why did the mother kill her baby A:Just for the heck of it | ||
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| that wasn't funny | ||
5. 14 Apr 2006 20:07 | heartagram_666 |
| hi | ||
6. 14 Apr 2006 20:09 | pixel_artist  |
| Well Q:Whats the difference between my radio and my baby? A:My radio talks! | ||
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| Okay this is cruel I'm no longer replying | ||
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| 7. that was good | ||
9. 14 Apr 2006 20:14 | heartagram_666 |
| Thanks I will reply now its just that I wont make the jokes | ||
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| thats not a dead baby joke, for christ sake, modedude get with the program | ||
11. 14 Apr 2006 20:16 | The_Achiever  |
| yeah, but it was still an interesting joke. read post 3 | ||
12. 14 Apr 2006 20:18 | heartagram_666 |
| 11.okay but im not that good | ||
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| Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends on how hard you throw them. Q: What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckloud of babies? A: You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork. Q: What is blue and yellow and found at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties. Q: What is green-black and yellow and found at the bottom of a pool? A: The same baby three weeks later. | ||
14. 14 Apr 2006 20:22 | Entropic_Catalyst |
| Funny yet cruel | ||
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| lol! i love the last two | ||
16. 14 Apr 2006 20:25 | The_Achiever |
| 16. Shouldn't you be painting? | ||
17. 14 Apr 2006 20:25 | Rednecks_2_Rox  |
| sorry, i only had one | ||
18. 14 Apr 2006 20:27 | heartagram_666 |
| 17. yeah, im going, im waiting for my dad to come, hes here now | ||
19. 14 Apr 2006 20:28 | The_Achiever |
| 11. it's good friday! Damn right for Christs sake. | ||
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| Whatever | ||
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| Q: Whats the diffrence between a brick wall and a Baby A: nothing, if you live at Entropic's house Q: How many babys can fit in a bottle? A:I don't know, lets experiment... | ||
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| Still funny, but it quite sad | ||
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| Q: How do you make a dead baby float? A: Bottle of root beer and two scoops of dead baby. | ||
24. 14 Apr 2006 21:11 | grouchobeer  |
| ??? Funny weird and sad | ||
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| Q: What's red and lies in all four corners of the room? A: A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw Q: What is red and hangs around in trees? A: A baby that was hit by a snow thrower | ||
26. 14 Apr 2006 21:16 | billybobo3  |
| Q:What do you call a dead baby A:bad baby | ||
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| 27. that was stupid........NOT A DEAD BABY JOKE | ||
28. 14 Apr 2006 21:23 | billybobo3 |
| Well I'm not that good with jokes sorry! | ||
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| Q: What do you say when you see the red blob sitting in your room? A: "Little Johnny must've been turned inside out again by the Chainsaw..." | ||
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| Q:what do you call a red dantheman? A:Bleeding Baby!! | ||
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| You keep saying everybody else's jokes are sad. Yours are pathetic. Please stop. | ||
32. 15 Apr 2006 02:58 | grouchobeer  |
| The jokes are sad as in cry sad! THEY'RE NOT FUNNY!!! | ||
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| Q:whats red and white all over? A:A dead baby violated by fuckman. Q:was the baby dead to begin with? A:ask the parents who threw him away. | ||
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| I`ve enjoyed every joke so far, even the ones that weren`t funny. A dead baby joke is like sex: Even when it`s bad... it`s still good! Q: Why do babies have a soft spot on their heads? A: So you can pick them up five at a time. Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a styrofoam cup? A: A dead baby doesnt harm the atmosphere when you burn it. Q: How do you make a dead baby float? A: Take your foot off its head. Q: What`s the difference between a dead baby and a rock? A: You can`t fuck a rock. | ||
35. 15 Apr 2006 20:23 | Entropic_Catalyst |
| 35. May God forgive you. | ||
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| 36. Stop spamming or you`ll be banned. | ||
37. 15 Apr 2006 23:12 | Entropic_Catalyst |
| "Good point. I wish the little bitch would put up or shut up already. 1. 15.04.06 at 20:40 |Entropic_Catalyst | ||
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| Figures, signing off. | ||
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| A new father goes into the delivery room to see his newborn baby boy. The doctor pulls him aside and says " I have the most amazing news. Your boy can fly". The doctor sees the doubt in the fathers eyes so he offers a demonstration. He picks up the little boy, holds him high in the air and then lets go. The baby falls to the floor with a loud thump. "You son of a bitch" says the new father, ready to kill the doctor. " Wait, something must be wrong. He flew this morning. Let me try again". He flings the boy across the room and he slams against the wall and slides down to the floor. "Oh my god, I am going to kill you" says the father as he is running towards the baffeled doctor. "No no wait, I know what I did wrong. I promise it will work this time". He opens the window and tosses the kid out. The kid of course falls 7 stories and leaves a mess on the sidewalk below. By this time the father is choking the doctor. With his last breath the doctor says " I was just fucking with you. Your son was born dead." | ||
40. 16 Apr 2006 01:50 | Entropic_Catalyst |
| A new father goes into the delivery room to see his newborn baby boy. The doctor pulls him aside and says, "I have bad news. Your baby has no arms." The father cries, "Oh my God, what could be worse than that?" The doctor says, "He has no legs." The father cries, "Oh my God, what could be worse than that?" The doctor says, "He has no torso." The father cries, "Oh my God, what could be worse than that?" The doctor says, "He has no head." The father cries, "Oh my God, what could be worse than that?" The doctor says, "In fact, all he is, is an eight-pound eyeball." The father cries, "Oh my God, what could be worse than that?" The doctor says, "He's blind." Try the veal, I'll be here all week. | ||
41. 16 Apr 2006 03:26 | grouchobeer |
| O.o... | ||
42. 16 Apr 2006 03:27 | Rednecks_2_Rox |
| 41. Veal? Don`t you know that veal comes from baby cows? You bastard! I`m not talking to you any more. | ||
43. 16 Apr 2006 04:26 | Entropic_Catalyst |
| 40.thats the best one yet! | ||
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| Q: What's more fun than stapling dead babies to the wall? A: Ripping them off again. Q: What's pink, purple, and covered in pus? A: A peeled baby in a bag of salt. Q: How long does it take to kill a baby in a microwave? A: How the fuck should I know? I was too busy masturbating. Inspired by doctorwhore`s latest avatar: Q: What's blue, sparking, and hungry? A: A baby trying to breast feed from a wall socket. | ||
45. 17 Apr 2006 01:09 | Entropic_Catalyst |
| LOL | ||
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| Q: Whats blue?scatered?and Red? A: A baby in a bunge jumping accedent | ||
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| Q:Why should we all stop burning wood at campsites? A:Babies burn hotter and give your marshmallows that extra zing. Q.What happens when you stab a baby and the knife wont come out? A: You can hang you coats proudly. | ||
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| Q: How is a baby and a hard boiled egg alike? A: They both turn funny colors when you leave them under water for a long time. I had a really hard time perfecting my baby back ribs recipe. All the meaty parts were in the front. I wish i woulda known that sooner. It took me four tries,eight angry parents, and many years in jail, but it paid off. Q: You just threw an ax 20 feet and killed a baby.you see someone dialing 911, about 40 feet farther than the baby.What do you do? A: Hope you brought 2 axes and real good throwing arm. | ||
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| gnomz likes its babies jokes | ||
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| Q:How can you paint room red in 5 seconds? A:Turn on the fan a throw a baby up high. Q:You own a daycare service. But every time you get a baby they start crying and you end up getting mad and hacking them up with a chainsaw.What do you do? A:Supply for McDonalds. Q:What do you do when you get a big gash on your leg? A: Light a baby on fire. It cures all pains! Q:What happens when the baby you burned turns to ash? A:Use it to fertilize your marijuana. Q:You wanna win the best yard award but all you are missing are the yard gnomes.What do you do? A:Stuff a baby in your freezer for a week. Q: how do you surprise a mother who smokes? A:feed her baby gunpowder. | ||
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| Cool | ||
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| wtf... | ||
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| don't swear lancer its bad for your soul. Only kidding | ||
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| I wrote some writing tips for the blind if ya wanna read it | ||
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| What's the difference between a baby and a Mars bar? About 500 calories. What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler. What has 4 legs and one arm? A doberman on a children's playground. What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree? Nailing it to a puppy. What's red and has more brains than the baby I just shot? The wall behind it. | ||
56. 19 Apr 2006 07:10 | Entropic_Catalyst |
| What's the difference between a baby and a dart-board? Dart-boards dont bleed. What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume! What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds? A baby with a punctured lung. What is red and pink and can't turn round in a corridor? A baby with a javelin through its throat. Why do you put babies into blenders feet first? So you can see the expression on their faces. Whats black and blue and doesn't want to have sex? The little boy in doctorwho`s basement. | ||
57. 20 Apr 2006 05:01 | Entropic_Catalyst |
| 1. why did the baby fall out of the tree? because he died! | ||
58. 20 Apr 2006 16:23 | insertnamehere  |
| these are kinda getting more funny | ||
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| dead babies rock | ||
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